Let’s get the year started off right with the issues that we really care about. That’s right, watermelon. We’ve all been there, standing at the grocery store, staring at the large cartons of watermelon, sitting menacingly on the straining wooden pallets. You wonder, with so many choices, how can I confidently choose the watermelon for me. Such a decision weighs heavy on your heart, for you could be filled regret for an entire week if things go poorly. You take a cue from the older asian women confidently tapping the melons. Do they really know something I don’t and understand the full internal structure of a melon from such an innocuous tap? Perhaps through decades of experience they have learned the secrets of the watermelon, but it turns out to be a tightly guarded secret. There are only rumors that leak out into the open that give us a hint at the truth of the watermelon tap.
Today, however, is the beginning of a new era. One where these tightly guarded secrets, shrouded in speculation and superstition, are thrust into the scrutinizing light of science. Let us together embark on this journey to explore the secrets of the tap and other incidental methods to finally allow all of us to choose our melons with the utmost confidence.
-Ming